Anna speaks with Elliot Rae, speaker, writer and founder of MFF, MusicFootballFatherhood which has been called the ‘dad’s version of mumsnet. After a traumatic experience following his daughter’s birth, Elliot suffered PTSD and found he was forced to confront unspoken issues around fatherhood, masculinity and mental health. He’s now created spaces for other dads to explore their own conditioning and find more helpful ways of dealing with difficult emotions and experiences, in a way that supports families and society as a whole.
In this episode:
- Anna and Elliot talk parenting from a new dad’s perspective, especially when the birth and its aftermath have been traumatic
- They discuss how far we’ve come in being able to talk about dad’s mental health since Elliot’s experience in 2016
- They talk redefining masculinity in a way that supports both men and women better
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More about Elliot Rae
Elliott founded MFF after suffering from PTSD after the traumatic birth of his daughter. Elliott is one of the UK’s most prominent speakers and writers on topics around fatherhood, masculinity, mental health, equal parenting and gender equality and he regularly hosts webinars and workshops with organisations about how they can support working dads and create a family friendly workplace. He has held senior D&I leadership roles, most recently as Head of D&I delivery at HM Treasury and the United Nations recognised Elliott’s work and he is now the proud recipient of the UN Women UK’s #HeForShe ‘Changemaker of the Year’ award.
Elliott’s first book, entitled ‘DAD: untold stories of fatherhood, love, mental health and masculinity’ is a deeply moving and inspiring collection of 20 stories that represent the diversity of modern fatherhood and seeks to start a conversation that challenges the traditions associated with masculinity. DAD was published on Tuesday 1st June and is an Amazon Top 10 bestseller.
Quotes from this episode:
On his orgnisation, MFF:
We represent dads who want to be engaged fathers who are very aware of their role as dads and the society they’re living in now. Who wants to raise children to be socially conscious, who are socially conscious themselves
On the unspoken challenges of new fatherhood:
I would start with trying to understand that they are also going through a massive life change…just yesterday I was talking to someone about a friend who was really struggling as a new dad …At home, he would get on with it. And he was fine. But he would cry on the drive to work every day… I think ultimately, it’s about being patient with each other.
Links and resources:
Elliot’s website & further information on his book, Dad: